What do Watermelon Rinds and Sex have in Common?

20. July 2009 by HealingMindN.

Summer time is a good time for eating sugary cold watermelon. Summer is also a good time for sex, but that’s not all they have in common.

I hardly ever talk about sex at this site. Although it is an integral part of our lives, I feel that there’s not that much to say. When things get messed up between mates, of course there’s plenty to say. I hardly talk about sexual relations here exactly because perversion is the basis of most people’s problems.

And where do most perverts hang out? The web, of course. Therefore, I don’t want to keep hanging the “meat out for the vultures to keep flying around” if you know what I mean.

As I have explained at Sexual HealingMindN, the energy denoted to love play should be extended to higher consciousness like enhancing a relationship through pleasure and healing your partner of ailments. For this reason, I have researched a tool which I believe is perfect in enhancing a loving relationship; it is a sex toy vibrator called the We-Vibe. Please have a look.

As for those watermelon rinds, I have a confession to make: I have always eaten the entire watermelon rind. I have never understood why people throw away their rinds. In fact, I have a further confession to make at this eHow article: How to Ferment Watermelon Rind for Increased Libido.

After you read that, you’re probably going to figure out why I spent some time at that We-Vibe page. Watermelon rind has a secret ingredient that most people are missing by throwing away their rinds. I’ve probably been eating too much of it lately. Perhaps, I should sublimate that extra energy into more powerful kung fu.

Thanks for your time.

Healing Thoughts, HealingMindN

Randolph

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Fear of Intimacy: Sneezing and Post Coital Blues Syndrome

25. December 2008 by HealingMindN.

My google alerts have sent me this article more than once. It’s an article called “Sexy Thoughts Make You Sneeze.”

Dr Mahmood Bhutta, an ear, nose and throat specialist at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, launched a study after seeing a patient who suffered “uncontrollable” sneezing fits every time he had a sexual thought and after finding seventeen more people (on the web) suffering from the same malady.

Dr Mahmood Bhutta and many other people somehow prefer to categorize this reaction of sneezing in response to sexual excitation as nothing more than a mechanical reaction.

Dr. Bhutta calls it “wires getting crossed” while others such as at this post, “Why to people sometimes sneeze suddenly during sexual intercourse?…” would prefer the vasodialation / histamine release explanation. These people who prefer the mechanical explanations are also having intimacy issues.

How do I know they have fear of intimacy? 99% of the people on the web who talk about these kinds of problems are on the web because they have a fear of being close to others; they fear intimate, emotional contact.

I’ve been in gestalt groups myself where there’s plenty of emotional release; few if any of the participants bother taking their intimate problems to the web because they know the web is too impersonal. An impersonal playground is perfect for people with fear of intimacy.

You need to understand something: We’re more than meat sacks with a complex set of biomechanical/biochemical functionality. We’re also emotional beings.

There are those who might say, “What does sneezing have to do with the emotions?”

First off, it’s not only sneezing that people experience as an adverse reaction when they have fear of intimacy. Secondly, the sexual function is a function of intimacy when you’re in love with your partner. People with fear of intimacy have all kinds of adverse reactions. Sneezing is only one.

As a student of qigong and TCM, I’ve studied the energy meridians. The energy meridians are attached to our organs which have mechanical AND emotional functions. I realise this concept of applying emotional functions to the organs runs completely counter to the western mindset. Fortunately, I am not restricted to any particular mindset. Let’s look at one example, so I can reason out for you how our organ functions determine physical and emotional mindset:

The Spleen Function

For example, we need to look at the spleen as an energy function attached to an energy meridian. The spleen function helps us digest different foods to combine those components with the lung function of respiration to create energy. The spleen function also helps us to digest ideas and concepts.

There are people who are very closed minded about accepting new ideas. By the same token, these same people restrict their diet to certain foods, so they’re probably not willing to experiment with more exotic fare.

This means their spleen function is restricted both physically and emotionally - with the end result being that they experience restricted movement and energy level. This makes them somewhat antisocial because they prefer to socialise with people who see things “their way.”

On the other hand, there are people who are very open minded about accepting new ideas. By the same token, these same people love to try all kinds of exotic foods, so they’re willing to experiment with new flavours.

This means their spleen function is very flexible both physically and emotionally. The result is that these type of people are very flexible, so their energy levels are able to peak when necessary. This makes people with flexible spleen functions very social and accepting of others no matter how different.

Do you understand where I’m going with this? OK, you’re asking “where does the sneezing come in as an emotional response to intimacy?”

All you have to do is a further search on the web under “fear of intimacy, adverse reactions.” You’re going to find all kinds of articles dealing with the subject.

For example, “Relationship First Aid: How to Heal a Fear of Intimacy” pretty much blames ‘the gender imposed restrictions of society.” The only problem I have with this article is that it seeks to intellectualise an emotional problem like a psychoanalysis session.

Yes, it does help to voice your feelings to your loved ones, but how many people with intimacy issues know how to do that? A person needs the heart knowledge first on how to express themselves. Fear of intimacy tends to restrict expressions to a purely intellectual level; this is why we have so many “intellectual” explanations for sneezing when you have sexy thoughts.

These people are restricted and bound up so tightly that the only time they have confidence is on the web. On the web, they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but tread outside of those restricted areas of biochemical/biomechanical response and we’re committing serious taboo.

OK, I’ll get to the sneezing. Wait.

Here’s another excellent article: “Fear of Intimacy: Discover how a fear of intimacy affects your relationship.” This article hits a little closer to home in terms of neglectful or intrusive parenting and family role models. this article reminds me of the “go away closer” concept I read a few decades ago in one of Wilhelm Reich’s books which is an extended response of character armor caused by blocking emotions of love. The best recommendation by Dr. Nicastro is introspection on intimacy issues, but how many people with fear of intimacy actually want to get intimate with themselves?

The rest of the articles that I find on this subject of fear of intimacy are pretty much the same result: The authors want us to push through the fear of intimacy by using intimacy, either with others, or with ourselves through introspection.

Let’s admit it, when we have a fear of something, that means we have a fear of using it. If you have a fear of fire, then you’re not going to use it. Is that right? By the same token, if you have a fear of intimacy, then how are you going to use it to help yourself?

Let’s go back to that sneezing response, now. That sneeze response is actually very light fare compared to other adverse reactions to intimacy. There are wife beaters. There are any number of fetishists out there who obviously have intimacy issues because they mix pain and/or humiliation with pleasure. Is that right?

If you only sneeze when you get sexy thoughts about your mate, then consider yourself lucky; you only have a hangnail compared to the berserk insanity that other people have. Well, kind of.

I also have that sneezing problem. I almost have it licked, but all have have to do is imagine being with the one I love in the most intimate way and… “achooo!” For me, this is a problem because I’ve had it so long. It’s disheartening and demoralising when I truly want to be close to that certain someone, then I sneeze. When you’ve had it long enough and it’s definitely a barrier, it’s just not funny. Well, maybe not to me, probably not to you either.

The Lung Function

I’m not going to cover the entire lung function here because it’s extremely extensive according to TCM. I’ll just tell you how it’s connected to the sneezing function.

The sense of smell is controlled by the lungs and also the spleen. If the lungs are not good, the sense of smell will be weak and the nose will be blocked. If the lungs are affected by much heat, the nose will be red and the nostrils will flare… [The Lung Meridian, p.330, The Dim-Mak Encyclopedia, Erle Montaigue and Wally Simpson]

Remember what I told you about the spleen? Since it functions in direct correlation with the lungs it deals with the expulsion of unacceptable matter in the lungs; it also uses the lung function to help expell unacceptable ideas, such as being truly close to someone.

I admit it: I have fear of intimacy and it’s gotten in the way of my love life. Fortunately, it’s only a sneeze, so I count my blessings and I look for answers. Where to look? Find people who tell us how to solve our intimacy issues. Where to find them?

I found them at Gary Craig’ site on emotional freedom techniques (EFT); it looks like there are other people who found a way to cure their fear of intimacy through EFT. I did a search at the site and found “from fear of intimacy to an open heart.”

What you’re supposed to do in EFT is tap within these shotgun target areas of your energy meridians as you vocally express your issues then affirm yourself. For example, here’s the script set forth at “from fear of intimacy to an open heart:”

Place your hand on your heart (otherwise known as the sore spot in EFT) and massage it in a circular motion while making the following pledge statement aloud:

Even though I have this fear of intimacy…

Even though I fear that if I get close to someone again, I will just risk getting hurt again and that will mean experiencing all that pain over again…

Even though I cover up my fear of intimacy by busying myself and keeping myself distracted, I realize this no longer serves my highest good and choose instead to release and trust that things will always turn out for the best, even if at the time it doesn’t appear to be so.

Even though I fear making myself vulnerable for fear of getting hurt, I choose to open my heart slowly, bit by bit, at my own pace and in my own time. I choose to learn how to trust others again and start by trusting myself implicitly.

Even though this fear of intimacy is preventing me from having the best possible relationship, I choose to open my heart to love again so that I can enjoy deep, meaningful and loving relationships.

Even though at times I don’t allow an intimate connection with myself, I choose to nurture and support myself in all that I do. I choose to let go of my fear of being hurt and I choose to feel safe and secure.

Reminder Pledge: Tap one (shortcut) round of each of these statements

Round 1: I hereby choose to be completely free of the all fears that are keeping me from being intimate and loving again.

Round 2: I hereby release all fears and doubts about my ability to be intimate and to love again.

Round 3: I choose to open my heart slowly, bit by bit, at my own pace and in my own time.

Round 4: I choose to let go of my fear of being hurt and I choose to feel safe and secure in a new relationship.

Round 5: I choose to open my heart to love again so that I can enjoy deep, meaningful and loving relationships.

Round 6: I hereby commit to love.

You understand how that works? When you vocalise your issues, you’re releasing the emotional pressure that has built up in certain parts of your brain. That pressure only causes that invisible barrier to intimacy to get stronger. What we need to do is release the pressure by stimulating ourselves emotionally, first by tuning into the problem, then by inducing proper energy flow through affirmations.

You can get the free EFT Tutorial + Manual to see all the tapping points of EFT. The only problem I have with the EFT concept is they like to rename acupuncture points and they don’t match the energy meridian with the corresponding emotion; It’s just a generalised tapping set of shotgun points including rolling of the eyes (which makes me want to roll my eyes).

In general, EFT has been proven to solve emotionally based problems in patients around the world in a matter of minutes.

The difference is EFT was created to appeal to a western mindset, so it’s much simpler and more concise than anything I’ve learned in TCM. Most people want to learn how to take care of a problem in a few minutes rather than learn an entire encyclopedia of medical concepts (like me). So EFT was created for most people.

Now, I’ve you will excuse me, I’m going to do another round for my intimacy issues which I’ve had for decades. I don’t sneeze nearly as much, so it must be working.

Thanks for your time and Happy Holidays to one and All.

Sincerely,

Randolph, HealingMindN Medicine Man

Here is an article from the NY times that also deals with intimacy issues. I believe it has more to deal with healing issues. Here are a few excerpts:

Sex and Depression: In the Brain, if Not the Mind

I didn’t think much about his case until some time later, when I met another patient with a similar complaint. She was a 32-year-old woman who experienced a four- to six-hour period of intense depression and irritability after an orgasm, either alone or with a partner. It was so unpleasant that she was starting to avoid sex.

Recently, a psychoanalyst colleague — a man known for his skill in uncovering psychopathology — called me about yet another case. He was puzzled about a 24-year-old man whom he viewed as psychiatrically healthy except for intense depression that lasted for several hours after sex.

There is nothing strange about a little sadness after sexual pleasure. As the saying goes, after sex all animals are sad. But these patients experienced intense dysphoria that lasted too long and was too disruptive to be dismissed as mere unhappiness…

The research literature is virtually silent on sex-induced depression, but a Google search revealed several Web sites and chat rooms for something called postcoital blues. Who knew? There, I read many accounts nearly identical to those of my patients, with reports of various remedies for the malady…

Of course, the mainstream head shrink who wrote this could only think of applying drugs to the situation. I’m thoroughly dissappointed in mainstream medical practice for not researching their patients further. They should be asking their patients:

• What are your expectations from your sexual relationship?
• What are you getting from your sexual relationship?

I believe these are the two key aspects of intimacy: What your expectations? What are you actually getting?

Let’s assume that the general concensus between people is that they want to have sex to be closer to their partners. How are you doing that exactly? You get pleasure. You give pleasure, but how does that bring you closer to your partner? Does having sex actually make you feel closer to your partner?

Do you see that I’m now probing beyond the cognitive committments of most people including the head shrinks? In this case, the problem that’s most likely happening in “post coital blues” is lack of intimacy. The person suffering from depression after sex may actually want more intimacy, but her/his partner is not providing - more likely her partner.  (If she’s seeing more than one partner, that’s a lack of intimacy issue right there.)

Of course, I’m just postulating here in terms of neuroscience, but no more than that shrink in the article:  The amygdala harbors negative information when we don’t release it. We can have anger, frustration, and other related emotions, all bottled up in the amygdala until we release it.

The amygdala can also harbor negative feelings of ‘void’ like depression, loneliness, sadness. We get these feelings of void usually when something is lacking in our lives like appreciation, respect, and intimacy. In fact, let’s face it. We’re complicated. Feelings of frustration can set off feelings of despair, then anger, then rage.

When we have high expectations of another person, especially in an intimate relationship, and that other person does not meet those expectations, we can run the entire gamut of emotions until we finally hit that wall of depression. Therefore, another viable question from a head shrink to his patient is “how did you feel between the time you had sex and the time the depression hit you?”

The answer to this question would help us gauge the source of the problem.  The only problem is that a person can experience a lot of feelings right after sex in a matter of minutes if not seconds before hitting depression. What really matters is how two intimate partners can meet each other’s expectations.

The greatest part of intimacy is healing. No one ever told you that? Well, I’m telling you now. You’re both there to HEAL each other. Beyond the pleasure, that’s what sex is for. This is how two people become truly intimate with each other - through HEALING.

This is the reason everyone need to learn how to be a Sexual HealingMindN. When your intention is to heal your partner of whatever emotional void they may be experiencing during sexual intercourse, your relationship blossoms. You will meet each other’s expectations; no need for drugs, no need for depression. You should only have happiness together. Please study the literature available through Sexual HealingMindN, then practice, practice, practice.

Be a real man and bring her to the 9th wave, the way you’re supposed to. Thanks again for your time.

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Sexuality and Higher Consciousness

13. November 2008 by HealingMindN.

The article on Sexual Intercourse Is Like Meditation may be a puzzle for most people.

That is, it’s a puzzler for most people in western society where sexuality is considered a “hush-hush” subject.

If you’ve visited my site at Sexual HealingMindN, you saw that the Taoist and Hindu perspectives on sex are very similar. In that fold, I would like to help clarify a few points in that article.

I believe most of you understand that part about going beyond a point where it becomes perversion. Decadent western culture does go beyond that point where sexuality is a perversion. So-called “religious conservatives” consider anything attached to sexuality as sinful exactly because decadent western cultures goes beyond that point into perversion.

The author’s point is that we should attach our higher consciousness of intention to coupling. The main objective should be spiritual closeness between man, woman, and the grand order of the world around them. Unity between man and woman should be unity with higher consciousness. Unity with higher consciousness leads to enhanced mental acuity. This higher order unity also allows man and woman in love to shape the characteristics and destiny of their offspring.

The orgasm function is universal as indicated by Wilhelm Reich. The formula can be found in every living thing from cell mitosis to the formation of tornadoes, galaxies, and beyond. The formula is:

Tension > Charge > Discharge > Release

This is a very simple concept that my own biology teacher from high school could not describe in proper scientific terms. Her description that she wanted her students to remember was “good, good feeling…”

In fact, this formula is key to creation in the universe. Everyone from astrophysicists to microbiologists will tell you that these are the actions of creation. The orgasm function is integral to universal order.

Gerald O’Donnell of the Academy of Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing provides a sample audio download which instructs us on our inherent ability to shape our offspring through higher consciousness during coitus. The audio is called “RI Manifestation.”

According to Gerald, this is a secret method that’s been handed down for generations. We focus on the best characteristics we want to see in our child during conception. The orgasm function is the carrier for these intentions.

A more detailed method is employed by the Kabbalists in their esoteric practicies when they focus on the toes during coitus. Each toe represents a characteristic of the elementals or “Sefirah” on the Tree of Life. By employing the higher consciousness of human intention during coupling, they are tapping into the higher gauge symmetry of human spirituality which is directly connected with universal order, an expression of The Universal Mind of God.

Isn’t that good news? Two people in love can tap into the universal order or “the matrix” during their most intimate expression of love to give their child a life based in love. This is something we all need.

Thanks for your time,

Randolph, HealingMindN

P.S. Download all 8 sample audios from ARVARI to learn even more.

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Sleep

25. February 2008 by HealingMindN.

This is a short compilation of work concerning a subject near and dear to our hearts, the subject of sleep and our relation to loved ones when we sleep. The reason this is under Sexual HealingMindN is that we advocate true love from this perspective. True love is beyond the physical body, so let’s do a short exploration of sleep between lovers. Shall we?

What is sleep?

I believe that you and I can agree that sleep is yet another complex function of sentient life. We reset our biological clocks according to our circadian rhythms. We regain our strength and regain our mental edge after a tiring day. But there’s something more to sleep - isn’t there? Just as there’s something more to us than walking meatsacks that conventional science would have us believe. By the same token, there’s something more to sleep.

We have ideas, inspiration, and revelations. Within the dream state we contruct different realities. Sometimes we find ourselves in alternate realities. Most importantly, within this other consciousness, we discover answers to questions, we discover truth. We find our true love. We find our true passion. How does this happen?

Spiritual Science

According to research by Stewart Swerdlow, we receive communications from God during sleep - in the form of archetypes represented by familiar people, places, and things, engrained in your DNA patterns. Swerdlow advocates the mind as a gateway to hyperspace, the bridge to spiritual reality.

The research of Roger Penrose and Stuart Hameroff further justifies the human mind as a gateway to spiritual reality. The nonlocal effects of psychic phenomena begin with quantum dynamic potentials of microtubule networks within the central nervous system. We experience alternate realities during multiple eigen functions or higher states of consciousness because of this microtubule network.

Rupert Sheldrake’s research in morphic fields further explores people as a set of energy fields within fields contributing to a holographic matrix of information, an extension of our mind patterns. What most people know conventionally as the “aura” is actually an intelligent data field which is an integral of bioenergetic and psychoenergetic functions; this morphic field is part of a further information matrix which has sympathetic resonance with similar energy fields among similar species, thus providing a mode of information transfer.

The psychoenergetic studies of the coherent infrastructure of the human mind was further undertaken by William A. Tiller. I advocate as he does: That We are all spiritual creatures intimately attached to physical bodies, that consciousness is a concomitant byproduct of spirit entering dense matter. His studies indicate that reality is a matter of mindset and that our experiences in this world are a resonant summation of our intentions, the basis for the law of attraction.

Dr. Tiller’s work is advocated by Gary Craig, inventor of an energy psychology modality known as emotional freedom techniques discovered that people can be remotely influenced by literally and figuratively “tapping” key points in the bioenergetic bridge known as the energy meridians - which are the basis for our emotions. From Gary Craig’s work alone, we can conclude that the human energy matrix emanates sympathetic fields of subtle energy, particularly during higher states of consciousness.

Research by Gregg Braden, Russian Scientists, and our own military revealed that photonic information aligns itself with human DNA. (See the paper on Collective DNA Consciousness.) More importantly, they discovered embryonic DNA shape and composition is influenced by emotions and intentions, either locally or miles away; this is how parents, peers and other social dynamics influence the growth of young, impressionable DNA.According to Col. Thomas Bearden, we transceive information like emotions and intentions within de Broglie wave carriers, or superluminal particles produced within the microtubule network.Some people refer to de Broglie wave carriers as mass free “thought forms.” But how does that “thought form” know where to go when communicating with someone on the other side of the planet?

Some people would say all things spiritually alike are physically close in hyperspace - and the human mind serves as that bridge to the spiritual realm.

Someone like David Bohm would say that it’s enough to have these quantum, non local potentials within the living system because this explains the quantum entanglement of resonant superluminal particles produced by the microtubule network.

Science of Attraction

You’d think this would be enough, but we still need to explain how living species learn from each other even when they are physically distant and never met each other per the morphic fields theory.

Living energy matrices have to be synchronised in sympathetic resonance first before they can send each other information - like atomic particles which are first synchronised to the same quantum state to experience quantum entanglement, but obviously far more complex in humans since we contain entire sets of rhythms and harmonics.

Since we’re on the subject of sleep, let’s discuss something further. When people live together, they tend to take on each other’s habits and characteristics. Of course, willpower keeps us from taking on bad habits, but we tend to know the attitudes and intentions of the other person after awhile - even to the point of synchronising rhythms. For example, after living together for a few months, women’s menstrual cycles match each other.

In the case of married couples, that is, people who are in resonance with each other, they tend to have a “sixth” sense about how their partner is doing. No matter how far apart they are, they can sense each other. What happens when man and woman sleep together and share energy fields? How do they sense each other when separated by continents and oceans? How did they achieve sympathetic resonance with each other in the first place - to find each other?

When we sleep, we cycle through all the brainwaves that we didn’t achieve during our waking hours including the alpha rhythm. Even when we simply relax, we experience the alpha rhythm, an extremely low frequency bandwidth cycling roughly between 6 and 12 Hz with an average of about 7.83 Hz. During the alpha rhythm we experience peaceful clarity of thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The alpha rhythm is also the standing resonant bandwidth on this planet known as the Schumman resonance.

Interesting that the standing resonance of this planet is well integrated into our human energy matrix - isn’t it?

We’re all part of a living biosystem resonating at the alpha rhythm. There are about two thousand lightning storms at any given moment, worldwide. The continual static discharge between the earth and ionosphere drives quasi-standing electromagnetic waves in the same way a breath blowing across a bottle neck gives a resonant tone. The average of these waves is (or was) also about 7.83 Hz.

This regular lightning storm activity around the planet has been likened to neurological activity in the brain. The alpha rhythm is engrained in our psychobiology through entrainment by the Schumman resonances. Per a paper by Richard and Iona Miller:

“Binaural beats are not an external sound; rather, they are subsonic frequencies heard within the brain itself. These frequencies are created as both hemispheres work simultaneously to hear sounds that are pitch-differed by key mathematical intervals (window frequencies). The brain waves respond to these oscillating tones by following them (entrainment), and both hemispheres begin to work together. Communication between the two sides of the brain is associated with flashes of creativity, insight and wisdom…”

Just as we have persistence in hearing to produce binaural beats, and persistence in vision to produce continuous images from movie frames and lines drawn on a computer screen, the body also copes with slightly enharmonic standing resonant waves by generating its own set of persistent sympathetic frequencies. In this way, the entire living system takes an active role of creative persistence. For this reason, We need these natural outside energy stimuli to really be alive inside.

During the alpha rhythm, we entrain each other through the Schumman resonances. Bioenergy information is stored and delivered within these standing resonant waves surrounding the entire planet between those who have sympathetic resonance with each other. We are all part of a living information matrix known as humanity. When we achieve the alpha rhythm, we are in harmony with the planet - and each other.

When sleeping together, we share rhythms that allow us to entrain each other. Rhythms intertwine. We share energy patterns and create new ones through a sympathetic holographic matrix. Thoughts, feelings and intentions intertwine. Dreams intertwine. Two hearts beat as one.

Online Videos by Veoh.com
When I first heard “sleep” by f.r.e.u.d., I knew that was the most beautiful love song I ever heard (save for “The River”); it tells us everything, emotionally, that I wrote here, intellectually. (Thank you, Ingo Hauss, lyricist, songwriter for freud!) So, I decided to put together a video to go with the song as a tribute my Valentine, Louise.I hope I did the song justice. What you see in this video is what I see between two people in resonance: Two equal yet opposite cosmic energy streams flowing into each other creating their own set of sympathetic harmonics. This is from my mind’s eye. I hope you enjoy it.

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